Ack! I just got back from a shitty burn at black rock city and I cannot get my head straight. I'm laying in bed and my brain is just BLANK. I am entirely unemployed at this point, and about six dollar short of rent. A friend is going to help with the slack but I need to work. I need to figure something out. Fuck this, I need to move. The only reason I live where I do is that it is cheap. Yep, thats it. Cheap living with shitty roommates. I need to work but I can't figure out the first step. I've been art modeling for six years, but don't have any clients set up in this region. I don't want to find modeling work, and I havent' been in any other industry in a while. My brain isn't helping. I can't focus for shit.
Seriously, I feel motivated to walk through the door, but all I see is a wall. All I can feel is a wall. My car is dead so I s'pose I should go jump it somehow, but SHIT!! I feel so drained and empty and I have no direction! I need a direction! I have spent the last six months becoming a rather proficient welder, but now the machine I was using is unavailable. Fuck my life! I'm tired of it. I don't know what to do. I need to figure out an income, but my options are shit. I need to drastically change my life, but nothing sounds worthwhile. I don't know this town, I don't know where to go, I don't feel like I have any actual friends, which I'm sure is my fault anyway. My sister has suggested that I have high functioning autism, but that doesn't change anything. Whether or not I have some kind of brain malfunction, I am still living in this shitty place with my shitty roommates and my lack of job and all that. What the fuck now!?
As soon as I pay rent I'll be broke, and back at square one. Unemployed and broke with a shitty room and shitty roommates and I don't know what to fucking do about it. Change neighborhoods? Get a haircut? Get a life? FUCK ME I wish I knew how. I don't know what I'm doing or what I should be doing or any of all that. I feel on the verge of panic but there's nothing going on. I need to do something but I don't have any ideas. No ideas at all. Just a blank fucking slate where the ideas should be. DAMMIT I HATE MORNINGS. At least mornings without routine. Without purpose. I feel twitchy. I need something but hell if I know what it is. I feel trapped but I cannot see the cage.
|Subject:||out of touch|
But I've been writing offline, so maybe something will find its way here in time.
I'm not working enough, but I'm getting by.. barely and somehow. The last time I booked work it was with someone I found at the Art Model Place. There is finally a website for the industry I work in. Something to compile a directory of art models and network them directly with their various employers. If this website had existed a couple years ago, I imagine I'd now be out of debt and in better state of mind... and thats just from being able to find steady work. Guess I should have built it sooner, eh? Right now its at 185 members. Getting a slow start but I'm hoping it'll pick up soon. Once it starts getting more populated, it has some lovely potential. Slowing it down is time and budget. I could make some major changes with a couple hundred dollars, and in a month my friend will become more available to help me with it, and possibly hire me as her assistant for various website work. She's been teaching me a lot and I've taught myself a bit, too.
I hate the waiting game. Hate it. I waited three weeks to find out about a job. It was a week between 1st and 2nd interview, and two weeks after that before I found out that it wasnt happening. In that time, I couldn't book work because if I actually DID get a lucrative full-time job, I'd have to cancel nearly all of the bookings I had accepted and ruin some of the business contacts. Waiting that long though at such a crucial time.. that was the window. When everyone does their hiring for summer, and in many cases for fall as well. Thats half the damn school year. I got bookings from one school since then, and I doubt there are many more forthcoming. I really gotta get on that, pronto. Leave the site alone for a few days, find work for NOW. arg.
Meh. So I've been spring-boarding from one polarization to another, yet each one is different and unrelated to the next or previous. yesterday my head was full of ideas and plans and things to do and work on, with motivation for so many things that I had to concentrate to calm down and straighten things out enough to decide what to work on.
Today... nothing. Which sucks because with the zero inertia today also came some contrast, another of the frequent reality checks and reassessment of situation and priorities.
Seriously, yesterday I had to run up to the pickup location just to speak with them in person because they dont have a customer service number, and if they didnt hear from me I would have forfeited the bikes I purchased about a month ago. I've made no progress in a month, but I had ideas. I've been toying with various ideas for self-promotion in the art-modeling field, and at the same time, totally failed again. I found a directory for workshops and schools that use art models across southern california, but of course by then everyone had already booked their models for the next semester. Virtually everyone is fully booked until december. FUCKING DECEMBER. and I have bookings at one school, and a few scattered workshops.
I've finally sewn some seeds of doubt with my new friends, too. In my own head, at least, but thats all that matters. If I'm in a "good place" things just work. My outlook shifts dramatically enough that my perception guides me naturally into good situations. If I'm in a bullshit state of mind, then I become more shy, quiet, guarded and withdrawn. It affects my behaviors significantly enough that I start getting different responses from people. If I try to make a joke, it comes out inappropriate instead of funny. If I try to pay someone an honest compliment, it comes seeming like a crappy pickup line. If I laugh at someone's joke or story, it sounds forced. Its hard to smile because I cant remember any reason to do so. Its hard to operate, socially or professionally, because I feel blank. Nothing feels natural or normal, so any interaction I try to undergo feels weird, like I'm doing it wrong. In almost everything I do, it feels like I am trying too hard, and still not doing it right.
I suppose I may be depressed.
Something about writing that line feels kind of weak and pathetic. Claiming depression like its an illness. Is it? Cant be, because I come out of it, and then relapse again and again. So is it an addiction? Am I somehow addicted to depression like some kind of drug? Maybe thats why dont really suffer addiction elseware.. I'm too preoccupied getting a fix of misery to be concerned with petty drugs. With a brain like mine, who needs drugs to escape?
You dont need an escape from reality when reality doesnt even stick with you. With my distractability and lack of decent memory, there's nothing to haunt me, in a good or bad way.
And yet... yesterday was different. Yesterday on the way back from the warehouse, I had so many things going on in my head that it was hard to sort them out. I was filled with plans for coming days, and planning, considering, strategizing, reconsidering, plotting, and devising how to best do things to accomplish what I was after. I spent a couple hours detailing a sculpture, enjoying it, and thinking about projects that I should start up. Enjoying some idle fantasies about possible future events, and then getting charged up when ideas clicked into place and showed me how to make some of them into probable future events. It was pretty cool, like a bit of a natural high, to see the potentials of situations and ideas, such that any lingering concerns about finances and relationships just seemed to melt away. Those things didnt need to concern me, because it would all work out. Being more relaxed internally made social actions smooth as silk, and more enjoyable for me because I never saw anyone's walls go up. And then the night was done, and I went to sleep.
It sucks to feel awkward. Say something that they mis-interpret, and feel the person's reaction like a slap in the face. Know that they are suddenly less comfortable with me, to some degree. That I just lost something in their eyes, because my thoughts are too tangled to make sense and the string of words that came out were just the right ones to put that person on edge. Oops.
So anyway. Enough of that. Good leads to good, bad leads to worse, and when I wake up its a coin toss.
I need to develop income.
Hopefully tomorrow wont suck.
So... sometime in the past. I would say 2-4 weeks ago but pretty much anything before today blends together anyway.. so.. Sometime in the recent past, I spent about an hour at the bar before I was ready to admit that I just wasnt feelin it. I sometimes go for 3-4 hours, just hang out and play pool, but this was just one of those nights.. Didnt know anyone there, the table was occupied with a long line ahead of me, I was tired, and had a lingering headache that was starting to get pissed off. In my head, I was doing a mental "prior to departure" checklist, noting where my jacket was... and Out of the blue, there is this gorgeous face is suddenly standin there, with electric eyes and smile, asking me if I need a drink. I swear, the force of that gaze acted like G-forces on my concentration, but I think I managed to turn awe into a friendly smile just before it hit my face. I probably said something pointless about leaving, and then accepted the drink. I was starting to name a beer, and the face interrupts..
Face: "hard liquor."
Me: ".. Jack"
Me: "Coke - cherry."
... and then the face smiles prettily, and slides past me into the crowd at the bar. Once my head stopped spinning, she had actually disappeard into the crowd. I go outside to have a cig and try to clear my head, even though I hadnt been drinking yet.. when I went back inside and start wading toward that section of the press, a hand pops up, holding a jack and cherry toward me. I take the drink and the hand just disappears into the crowd. Seriously I did not see the rest of the arm, and so I start trying to spot her, and somehow failing. Probably 20 minutes goes past, and I'm walking through the press in front of the bar, and through the people far below (I'm tall, it has weird effects sometimes) I see the side of the face, and I look down to see it distributing beers to its friends, and then its gone again. At this point its almost creepy how ethereal it seems. Over the next couple hours I realized there hadnt been another sighting, and I failed to locate it entirely. Somehow it was always swirling with people or drinks or just vanished entirely. I didnt even get a name. The entire event did do quite a bit to spur my mood, though. If that was the original intention of the gesture, it was successful. If not, well, it still cheered me up.
Yesterday I went, to play some pool. This girl walks in with a face like a tractor beam, and the smile. I just stare as she walks past and goes upstairs with her friend. She goes out of sight, I blink a few times, and try to remember if I'm solid or stripes. Its not fair... really... when a "stunning" face actually leaves you dazed. Thats supposed to be just a figure of speech, alright?! So when I get clear of the pushy guys who's asses I was kicking on the table, I make my way upstairs. I get up there and she's in the corner with her friend. I sit up there for a few minutes, recovering from the stupidity that was taking place down at the table. I turn to say something to her and there's nothing but a cricket inside my head, and the chirp echoes. I turn and see my friend heading out the door, so I jog down the stairs to see her out, and soon after, leave.
And then only now do I realize that it was the same person from some weeks ago, who showed up when I was down, bought me a drink and disappeared.
And I still dont know her name.
Perhaps I should call her Violet. ;-)
So it seems that its not just a matter of what you do in life, and how well you do it... but what you do in general that leads you to doing it. To actually pursue something there cannot be an on/off switch of going to work vs off-time, because your off-time has to lead to more work-time. In other words, to be successful at anything, you have to shape your lifestyle and habits to lead you to more business, or draw it to yourself. If you already have as much as you can handle, then you look for better business.
In the case of modeling, or art modeling, research someone you see in the industry that is successful, and at a level you feel you can reach. How they work "on the clock" is one thing, but the rest is everything. Where do they find work? Do they have an agency that helps them? If not, what websites do they use, and how many hours per day (or week) do they usually spend on them? How do they present themselves on their profiles?
(Online presence is important these days. The old "six degrees of separation" doesnt apply anymore. I'd say its more like... two or three. You're either directly connected online, or you know someone who is.)
Unless they have an agency which finds most of their work, the websites are important. Some of them have unlimited storage so you can post absolutely everything, but others might have good forums, or a much-used casting section. Figure out where they find work, and where work finds them.
What do they do offline that is relevant to work? Just carry business cards in case conversation leads that direction, or seek out business contacts and intigate the conversation? Have they shaped their social life toward business? Go to networking parties instead of clubs? Are their friends all in the industry, or do they have real friends, too? (((kidding)))
Anyway. The point here is that lifestyle and work run in tandem in many forms of business. To be involved in that business, research how the lifestyle leads to business in the lives of those successful at the business.
((In regard to modeling - it might even be worth considering their profile specifically. Break it down into a format, like sections on a resume. See what information they include, and where. When someone goes to that page, whats the first impression it gives? Take a look at what kinds of information they supply, and try to notice what they left out, and why.. if its significant, why not follow their example?
If they have been at it a while, they probably have several gigs of images. This is their marketplace. This isnt where they put the myspace pictures of them with their friends, because that shit goes on myspace, or facebook. Try and figure out if there are patterns in the layout. Do they have different albums for categories, or put everything together? How is it organized? Is all the best stuff right up top or do they space out the good images so you have to look through every page? Or do they just post everything chronologically, with no special arrangement?))
A few days ago I get a text from someone who puts on workshops.. this one is being held in some lounge in LA. The theme is "birds and feathers" and its the main organizer's birthday. I know I already look a bit effeminate, I dont want to push it.. most things I could do with feathers would make me look totally and completely flaming gay, assuming you dont already think I look that way. If you know me very well, you might know that I can push my shoulder blades into the air an extreme distance, and I was thinking about it.. wings with straps look retarded (in my opinion) and they're usually made too bulky anyway. So I found black feathers (at the third craft shop I stopped at) and went to the house of my friend the makeup artist. A couple hours to set it up and build the "wings" onto my back, and I was off. The event was fun and the wings worked really well... I could position them easily by raising my shoulderblades, flat against my back or almost straight up in the air. I want to build something bigger, and do a shoot with them. Also met some people who run workshops nearby, so I'll be getting paid work from it. There's a weekly workshop just one city away that I can get in on.
End of the event, I drive home. I was supposed to stop back at my friend's house so she could help me take off the wings with the solvents she had. The alternative is to very very slowly rip them off my skin. If you rip fast, it takes skin with it. Even going slow, it'll take all the hair. Believe me I know this, they tore quite a bit off me last weekend. So anyway, she was already passed out or something. Granted its about 2:30am, but still. She was supposed to be up, because these will probably suck to sleep with. So I head home, but end up spending 45 minutes looking for parking within a couple blocks of my place. Damn street sweepers. Very much not appreciating their existence at the moment. I end up parking a few streets away, which sucks. Because I cant get the "wings" off yet so I cant fit a shirt on, but at the very least I can wear my trenchcoat over everything. On the way home, I go through a gas station. I know the people who work it, so I was going to say hello to them after they finished with a customer. I like up a smoke and this guy chillin outside strikes up a conversation.
It was halfway hilarious. He told me about this 19 year old that he found that he helped find work for... but then he started bitching about this guy not giving him his half, and trying to keep 75% of his earnings, and how he needs to go put this kid in his place.. Called himself a "consultant" and even bitched about the city not taking his advice on various things. Then he basically switches to a sales pitch and tries to fuckin recruit me. Somewhere in the vague job description that he totally avoided talking about, the word escort slipped out. So long story short, this guy was a pimp. I suppose there are legitimate escort services, but as far as I know, 95% of them are really what we like to call "whores." This guy is definitely not in the 5%. By the time he handed me his pre-written post-it-note name/number combo, I was already laughing a little and thoroughly amused. In the end, I left his "card" on the table and resumed my journey homeward. In a trenchcoat without a shirt on, and feathers glued to my back underneath the trench. So even after the parking fiasco, it was an amusing night.
Interesting though, the guy was a charmer. Very confident man. Or should I say... a CON MAN! *dun Dun DUNNNN* and that made it a fun exchange. It was a power play, a psychological sales pitch, and the guy was good. Rico the pimp. =)
Its stupid how awesome that place is. That entire situation is nearly custom tailored to be my dream home for a while. Yeah so if that worked out, I'd go from one "dream situation" to another. The only problem I have right now, is that the one I'm in isnt my dream. For someone who wanted to live alone, you can come take my room. Its in a 2-bedroom apartment with decent kitchen and living room. You'd have a roommate, but not see her more than about once or twice a month at times. It'd be just like living alone.
Except that I dont want to live alone. The reason I didnt look for a 1-bedroom some place wasnt just for the purpose of saving money, but because I wanted a roommate. Someone that would throw a wrench into the monotany of home-life. That isnt what happened here, and so its not that good for me.
The house I helped move my friends into today was stupid. Stupid how awesome it was, because I'm not living in it. It was just renovated, so this 3 bed, 2.5 bath house with wood paneling all over the floor and walls ALSO has a huge, modern kitchen. The detached one car garage is being converted into a hangout room with a pool table so that the pool team I'm on which is captained by one of these girls has a place to practice, and there is still a long driveway for parking, aside from the plentiful street parking.
If that didnt make it just right, these girls remind me of Europe. Neither of them has the "stupid american" complex that so many americans cultivate with pride, and it is like a breath of fresh air. If I could go from one roommate that I dont know and never see in a decent 2-bedroom, to a couple of my friends in an amazing 3-bedroom, for about the same price?
Plus, we all have the same gender preference (female), so its sort of like living with a couple awesome guys. I've been in a similar situation, and I think this would work. And just to set the stage with some amusing details... My pool captain and I look enough like siblings that people ask us about it, and the other girl is actually a Snyder. No shit. If all of that still wasnt bad enough, let me just tell you this. When you walk in, it doesnt feel like a house... *dramatic pause* ...it feels like home.
So, yeah. Although I dont want some horrible accident to befall the current 3rd roommate, I wont be very upset if things dont work out. In the meantime, I need to get my financial ass in gear. Time to make some money so that if the room opens up, I'm ready for it. I dont expect that to happen anytime soon, because they think it'll be a good fit. My only hope is that his "non party nature" conflicts with it being a "party house" and he eventually leaves, on good terms. Though I'm hoping eventually doesnt go past six months. Three would be better. Or really just as long as it takes me to get my feet under me, since I'm sort of treading water right now. mMMmm... brains. Need to use mine, so that I'll be ready for it. And then.........
(and of course, one of them can cook like a pro *gasp* I need a towel)
This conversation took place between myself and a friend, who will be referred to as NMG (non monogamous girl). It outlines both my observations about my own state of happiness in relation to relationships, and her way of doing & viewing things.
NMG (1:00:11 AM): And what effect do I have on you?
DMS (1:01:37 AM): you've not only made a concept real, but kinda tickled me with it. you're the first person I know of who's nonmonogamous that I've had the least interest in some degree of relationship with.
NMG (1:01:52 AM): why?
DMS (1:02:06 AM): many reasons.
NMG (1:02:14 AM): tell them to me.
DMS (1:02:19 AM): easy way out would just be to say that the "cards lined up" and never did before.
NMG (1:02:33 AM): Easy way is no fun.
NMG (1:02:34 AM): Tell me.
DMS (1:04:57 AM): myself being single goes in cycles. I have been one of those people thats never really been happy in a monogamous relationship, but I like people enough to make a genuine attempt, and blame the problems on other things. Try and force myself into accepting the situation, because its the norm, because its what my partner wants, because because because... and keep in mind I was raised christian. I've been in a slow drift from those [ingrained] principles since the day I turned 18.
NMG (1:05:14 AM): mhm
DMS (1:07:51 AM): so either way... When I am in a serious relationship, it tends to consume me. At first I try and make it a [partial blending] of lives, but after a while my life seems to get fully wrapped up in it. I spend so much energy dealing with stress caused by my relationship that I cant think about much else going on in my life. Everything else kinda takes a back-burner. When my life gets bad enough, it affects the relationship enough to push it to a breaking point, if it wasnt already there...
NMG (1:08:04 AM): mhm
DMS (1:10:32 AM): then poof, the relationship is over, and everything I had wrapped up in it is gone. I lose friends, I lose contacts, I lose all sorts of shit. I have to start all over. Sucks to realize sometimes that a group of friends would much rather be on good terms with the hot female who's now single, who's made out to be the victim in most cases, than the guy who has neither tits nor the need for a shoulder to cry on.
NMG (1:11:09 AM): mmhm
DMS (1:13:36 AM): I would say I've probably been depressed for most of my life. When I am able to pull out of it, I am at my "most attractive" to the world. My outlook turns around, my life starts moving again, my confidence shoots up, and I become an entirely different person. Seriously like a +3 to charisma rolls. So once I recover enough of my life, release all the stressors and other lingering effects of the relationship, I get back into my own head. Start to build momentum again. Get in my "happy place" then all of a sudden people notice me more. Suddenly I am approachable or something.
DMS (1:14:15 AM): Before very long, I'm in another monogamous relationship, and the cycle starts over.
DMS (1:14:51 AM): So, a couple years down, either in a mono relationship or recovering from one, and then a few months up before the next.
DMS (1:14:56 AM): lots of fun, really. either way, it has left little to no opportunity to break the cycle. This time, however, it seems like the cards might line up.
DMS (1:16:31 AM): If I can keep relationships on the back burner, keep my head in my head rather than spinning wheels trying to sort out another stressful relationship, then I might be able to keep my momentum once it gets going.
NMG (1:18:03 AM): Indeed
NMG (1:18:37 AM): hmm
DMS (1:18:38 AM): You are my shining example of a functional nonmonogamous person, and you're already even a little more than a friend, though not interested in or trying to "tie me down" which I am coming to think is somewhat paralyzing to me.
NMG (1:18:46 AM): no, I'm really not.
DMS (1:18:51 AM): Yeah, I know.
DMS (1:19:00 AM): and it seems perfect.
DMS (1:19:03 AM): in so many ways.
NMG (1:19:09 AM): I like you, I want you to be apart of my life, maybe even love you, but that doesn't mean that you're my possession.
NMG (1:19:22 AM): mm, I'm definitely not perfect dear.
DMS (1:19:28 AM): perfect?
DMS (1:19:32 AM): *looks around*
DMS (1:19:34 AM): huh?
DMS (1:19:37 AM): who?
NMG (1:19:44 AM): my relationships aren't even perfect.
NMG (1:20:02 AM): I won't deny that we have our fights, and struggles and difficulties. And we probably will too.
DMS (1:20:34 AM): no, but you make them work. I cant imagine its easy, but the vibe from you guys, along with the facts of the matter, are hard to shrug off.
NMG (1:20:40 AM): true.
NMG (1:21:01 AM): I think it's worth making it work.
DMS (1:21:19 AM): well of course.
NMG (1:21:23 AM): I think that the people I love deserve to be happy.
DMS (1:21:34 AM): but you're using a very nonconventional tactic to do so, and I applaud you for it.
NMG (1:21:36 AM): And I know that I am not everything people need, and I have no desire to be.
DMS (1:22:16 AM): and thats why it has even a chance of working.
NMG (1:22:22 AM): aye
Ok so that last entry was the result of 15 things going through my head and coming out bits at a time in no particular order.
I am currently doing research into nonmonogamy, and its sparking a bit of resentment toward society at large, and a little toward the religions which have been so pivotal in the formation of this countries and the mainstream culture within it. I dont like that most of it is given in the form of ultimatums, rather than getting all the options and having the freedom to choose for yourself. You are supposed to be straight, you are supposed to be monogamous in your relationships, hopefully you are christian, and it'd be nice if you were white, too. Is that really too much to ask?
Well I say... yeah. It is. Once you started asking anything it was too much. Even just by keeping ideas down with negative propaganda and stigma, or outright censorship, it was too far. This is not your country. This is our country. Not everyone is straight, and you really cant force the issue. Damn near nobody is monogamous, but since thats the social norm, almost everyone tries to be, or at least pretends to be. Christianity was the basis of this country for a time, and still wants to be, and yet it doesnt adapt to the times. Monogamy, for a lot of people, is a joke.. but since it is the social ultimatum, nobody is laughing. Instead, they turn around and cheat repeatedly. They cheat until their hormones get bored, and then they might settle down. That sucks though. Because it changes you, it changes the way you interact, and especially the way you behave.
Having multiple partners, or having one partner that you cheat on. You know the main difference? Honesty. The person who claims nonmonogamy is being honest with themselves and everyone they're involved with (hopefully) because they dont need to lie in order to make themselves happy. One effect of having things in the open, is that once something is a topic, it can be discussed. Boundaries can be set, even if they are looser than the norm.
Consider it like marijuana. People will argue that its a gateway drug, or the devil in disguise, or all these things... and yet its really not the end of the world. If people saw it as being acceptable, then it simply would be so. Instead of fueling these massive drug cartels, or leading to arrests and drug charges that ruin the lives of so many people, and all the money and energy spent trying to suppress it... forget all that. Just legalize it, and forget about it. Once it is legalized, it can be moderated. If the boundary is absolute, then it will simply be broken and ignored, to any degree. If it was legal but goverment regulated and taxed, then it would not be fueling the cartels, it would be better quality and a source of legitimate income, AND nobody's life would get ruined due to drug charges, because there's no more risk, even moreso, no reason, to peddle it.
Non-monogamy seems somewhat like a training tool for monogamy. Why does it make sense to jump right into relationships aiming for level 5, when you dont have any practice at levels 1 and 2? Serious, committed, monogamous relationships can put an incredible amount of stress and tension into a person's life. When does this happen? I can happen anytime, but most of all during a BAD relationship. Thats right, people have poor fuckin judgement. When someone starts dating a person based solely on their looks or sex appeal, nothing else seems to matter for a while. There is the driving goal to have sex with this person, but once that is accomplished, you realize that there is more to this person, and you might be entirely incompatible with some aspect of their personality or lifestyle. What if the honeymoon phase of the relationship lasts over a month? Over six months? Depending on how fast one person or the other is trying to reach "level 5," after six months as exclusive partners you could be living together, wrapped up in each other's lives among your friends and yourselves. What then, when you realize that this person isnt your soulmate? Unless you blind yourself to the world, you might meet someone that is a far better match, someone you could actually be happy with. BUT you've got "so much" invested in your relationship. You're almost content in your misery, satisfied that you've been able to "make it work" for this long. So at this point if you even notice your ideal mate in your day-to-day, what would it matter? You're already IN a relationship, and that means that the entire world of dating is dead to you. Any person who approaches you has to do so as a platonic friend, or else they are obviously trying to "move in" and mess up your relationship. I dont see why people are so quick to remove themselves from the dating world. Someone catches your eye, so you somehow have about a minute, an hour, a day, or a week, however long it takes you to decide whether to see this person again, and take the relationship almost directly to level 3, become a monogamous couple that must be blind to all other possibilities for their lives. Yeah thats healthy. That highschool sweet-heart that you were so in love with but moved away... well guess what? They still exist. Dating monogamously will force you to disregard the other possibilities for your life. Its like putting a massive part of your future completely into the hands of fate, or luck. Its even better (more amusing) when you have people who believe in soulmates, but still date monogamously.
I'm not talking about marriage here... by all means, if you want One, then once you have found One that you hope you could be happy alone with for the rest of your life, then marry them. Marriages in this country and most countries are strictly monogamous.
Really though, you want to marry your soulmate. You believe that there is one person among the 6.8 billion on this planet that your soul is 100% perfectly compatible with. Nearly 7 billion people and you want to find the ONE that is meant for you. Well good fuckin luck. On the other hand, we can look at some numbers. Analyze a bit of probability and chance. Out of 7 billion, lets hope that your soulmate is somewhere around your age group. We wouldnt want one of you to live on for 15 or 20 years after your soulmate dies of old age, right? So lets cut the 7 billion down to 1 billion, and say that what we are left with is your target age group. Unless you're bisexual, you're only going after one gender, so cut the number in half. 500 million remaining. If you're hoping that your soulmate is your ethnicity you should narrow it by at least four fifths or more, so we'll say 100 million left. You're hoping they'll be attractive in your eyes? Lets call it 25 million left. You folks need chemistry and romance? 5 million.
So now you're only looking at your type, the people you would be dating while trying to find The One. Yeah. Right. Only five million people, spread across the entire planet, and you need to find ONE and somehow recognize them as your soulmate. AND hope that they're not already in a committed monogamous relationship, because then you couldnt even date them to get to know them. Sounds like a blast. Really.
So when do you start dating? When do you hope to marry? Lets say you start dating at 15 years old. Dating classmates or something, getting a feel for the dating world. Suppose you have a few relationships through junior high, and then a couple serious ones through highschool, and even throw in a half dozen failed relationships that only lasted a few weeks. By the time you're 18 and finish highschool, we'll say you've had 10 actual relationships. None of those were your soulmate, so keep looking. For every person you date for a year, you might also date 3 for only a week or a month, and spend some time single, so in the years between highschool and turning 21, you date another 5 people. When did you want to get married? When you were 25? What happens if you think you find them, so you spend 4 years dating one person who ... oops ... doesnt think you're the one, and you break up. Looks like your timeline is a bit screwed. You're either out of time, or you have 5 years in order to date the other 4,999,985 people to see if they are perfectly compatible with you.
dear jebus. its 5am and i just got home a lil bit ago. aside from being exposed to the dew and not optimal night-time lighting, the place is good. I've got two people very interested in building bikes, and another who might be once i can get him involved. the first two helped me work on bike #3, which I got running today.
never never never never never again must i build a bike from scrap. so those three bikes I picked up that i won so long ago were crappier than I thought. I had originally hoped I could just sell one, and take parts from one to make the third decent enough to build on. Nope. We did end up getting a decent bike, but there's nothing left of the other two except frames and scraps. But... we did finally get the bike running at around 3am. I spent 12 hours on it today working on the engine, and about 12 hours yesterday doing the scrap-work to get a bike.
ewwww total waste of 12 hours, if I'd just paid $50 bucks for one decent bike in the first place. Wouldnt have had to do all the stripping and salvage.. definitely want to avoid bothering with that again. Either get a bike I can work on directly, or task the boys to hybridize the junkers. If I spend the time doing that again, someone should slap me.
Also, they have ideas for selling bikes. Cool. Definitely cool once we get several up and running smooth, and take them all out together. I'll have someone to ride with! =)
main point here... bike #3 is running. I'll post pictures once the wiring and such is cleaned up. Aww, my first $400 dollar build. I wouldnt charge any more for this thing.
bleh. its 5:30am and I'm still here. g'nite and good riddance.
I am now corresponding with my (almost) dream supplier. Wholesale rates for "bulk" (its a small number) engine kits, at a location I can pick them up at and avoid the massive shipping costs that usually drive the prices skyhigh. Only drawback... none of the smaller 50cc engines. 66cc only, from this source.
Posters/Flyers - I designed a very basic sales poster on Friday night, but havent had a chance to print any up, nor distribute them. I should be able to do it tomorrow.
Business cards - $20 dollars for 100 business cards, with formats I'd consider decent. I can also mix them up, to include various pictures, and even throw some into the pot as modeling business cards. I could order them right now, but I'm thinking I might wait until I have better images.
Better images - The pictures I have of the bikes will suffice for a crappy little sales poster, but I dont think they're the right quality for business cards. Need to drag the bikes into a studio and have them photographed by a Real photographer. Doesnt need to have naked chicks draped over the bikes (although...) just needs to show them in a clean, lit, controlled environment. In other words, good product-shots.
Location / Crew - I might have killed two birds with one stone, here. I found a household that includes three young people with time to kill, who absolutely love the MotorizedBikes and are stoked on the idea of building them with me.... AND their place has space we can use to build.
Ack! Need to get this stuff down. My "hiccup" about legality is being shunted aside. Long story short, the laws about these are rather fuzzy, and change based on what area you are in, and are rarely enforced REGARDLESS of where you are. If you ride it like an asshole on a motorcycle, the cops will probably treat you like an asshole on a motorcycle. They can ticket virtually anyone for SOMETHING if they are so inclined. Solution? Ride it like a bike, end of story, and be polite. I have been riding one around quite a bit for about the last 4 weeks, doing general testing and engine-tuning. I usually pedal even when I dont have to (or at least I pretend to pedal), I dont always zoom around at top speed, I dont even have a helmet... yet I've never been pulled over. (helmets are recommended)
Here is the 2nd Build.
Its the Schwinn Point Beach that I didnt think would take the motor. Now I know a few tricks, and not only did I do it, but I figure I can now mount a motor on damn near anything with a big enough frame.
Its got a 50cc engine with about 1.8 HP, for a much smoother and quieter ride than the mountain bike. Not as much "guts" though, at low speeds and on hills it doesnt have much power.
With both bikes together, I call 'em "beauty and the beast." =)
About a week ago I was talking to someone at the bar I frequent about motorized bikes, and they "told me what I should do" and it was in one ear, out the other... but apparently an echo bounced around a while, then popped back in.
He didnt want to buy one, but he said I should rent them out, or in his case, lease them. He strongly suggested setting up at a couple beaches, renting them out for a few hours or the day. That sounds great and all, but you cant use these on the beach! On bike trails and in crowds of people, I suggest that you cut the motor and pedal. Otherwise, I might consider doing this.
And yet... leasing/renting bikes isnt that bad an idea. I'm starting to formulate an idea for "bicycle insurance" wherein if your bicycle is damaged beyond use, or stolen, you can come to me and use a "loaner" just like a car rental, but if you give me something like $5 per month for the "insurance" than you can borrow a bike free of charge for some TBD period of time. $10 dollars a month to "insure" a motorized bike, so that you can come to me for a motorized "loaner" should something happen to yours, so that you can still get to school, work, etc. Straight-out renting a bike could be something like $5 dollars a day, or $10 dollars a day for something motorized.
Consider it.. $5-10 per month really isnt much money at all, but how often do people lose or destroy bikes? All the time, sure, but on an individual basis, not all that often. And sure, its not much money, but what happens if you have 10 people who use their bikes a lot and would like to know they're covered? Thats $50-$100 per month. Money is money, and thats practically free money since it just makes use of surplus.
Actually insuring a bicycle or MB to the extent of replacing it... maybe that'd be $10/$20 per month? Hard to say, because I dont have people to investigate a "claim" of a stolen bike. Too much hassle. Dont think people would pay to insure a stupid bike? I pay about $50 dollars a month in car insurance because I purposely drive a "beater" car. You think its too expensive to pay half the cost of CAR INSURANCE to protect a BIKE? Here's something... I am asking the same amount for the Beach Cruiser that I paid for my CAR. $600. If I had that MB and used it more than (or instead of) a car, I'd want to insure it.
Keep in mind that I will have an extreme surplus of decent/good bikes to sell because of my bulk purchases, why not turn another way to profit off them until they are sold?
Member Agreement (version 1.0)
.A) Anything determined to be 'priviledged information' will not be demonstrated or otherwise communicated beyond the Group*.
.B) That which is considered to be 'priviledged information' will be dictated by Group Leader* with recommendations from Group Members*.
.A) Member understands that this is a business of motorizing, modifying, tinkering with, and otherwise working on bikes*.
.B) A period of non-competition is in effect from the time the Member Agreement is signed, through a period of six months (180 days) after a separation or termination statement is filed, or in the case of death.
.C) Member agrees not to receive money from Folks* for services or sales within the scope of Group operations during the non-competition period, unless acting as a representative of the Group, with monies being remitted to the Group Leader.
.D) Member agrees not to independently purchase motors for the purpose of motorizing Bikes. Any vendor or distributor found by Member must be directed to deal with the Group Leader.
.A) Ideas, concepts, inventions, upgrades or custom designs that Member comes up with during the period of non-competition fall into the category of Innovation.
.B) Innovations are encouraged.
.C) To be be given credit of origination, member is required to request documentation of their innovations, which will be kept in their file.
.D) Innovations which show potential to be useful to the Group will be made available to the group as Public, Priviledged, or Private.
..a) Public information may be openly used, and shared with anyone.
..b) Priviledged information refers to the non-disclosure portion of the contract, and is not to be communicated beyond Group Members.
..c) Private information is subject to limitations determined on an individual basis.
.E) Patents on promising innovations are encouraged, and will be shared by originating Member and the Group Leader as representative of the Group. Funding for the patent application may be provided by the Group Leader upon request, based on merit and availability of funds.
.A) This contract may be altered at any time with or without notification. Group member is responsible for reading updates to the contract as they are made available.
.B) Any alterations of the agreement by the Group Leader must be reviewed by no less than one (1) Group Member prior to taking effect, and will be published in the Group forum.
.C) Members may request to see their Contracts at any time during Hours* that the Group Leader is present, and not already engaged in a task.
.A) Everything in this contract is negotiable, by means of written communication with the Group Leader.
.B) Once an individual change or agreement is approved, that Group member's contract will be ammended to reflect the change.
.C) Changes and alterations to the Agreement do not affect other group members, unless the change or alteration is originally negotiated to include multiple Members, or all Members.
.D) Negotiations that do not affect all Members may not be published.
.A) Members who actively build motorized Bikes are entitled to keep the 4th motorized bike that they build.
.B) Members who already possess a motorized Bike, received as compensation or purchased from the Group, are entitled to alternate payment options on each completed build.
.C) Payment options vary widely, and may be individually negotiated. Standard options are:
..a) Flat rate, such as $50 or $100 dollars US.
..b) Percentage of the profit from the sale of their Build.
..c) Accessories for their own personal Bikes.
.D) In the case of a joint effort, Members must agree on payment and split.
.E) Builds that require heavy involvement from Group Leader may be adopted as a Leader's Build, and Members involved may be only partially compensated, or not at all. Heavy involvement is defined as 50% or more of the effort required to complete a Build.*
.F) Members who possess special skills or equipment may negotiate a 'cost of service' alteration into their Member Agreements.
.G) Members are encouraged to advertise and sell completed Builds.
..a) Advertising consists mainly of test-riding and breaking-in new Builds in public locations, and talking to Folks about the Bikes and the Place.
..b) Selling is like Advertising, but using a completed build that is ready for sale.
..c) Another way to sell is by means of a sales-ad, or direct referral.
..d) Any Member who makes a successful sale at the regular, student,* or patient* price for a completed Build will receive a commission of $20 dollars US.
7) Build Materials
.A) Defined as Basic Bikes, Primo Bikes, Motor Kits, Parts, and Accessories.
..a) Basic Bikes are defined as low-value Bikes with conversion potential.
..b) Primo Bikes are considered high-value Bikes with conversion potential.
..c) Usable parts taken from un-usable Bikes are openly available for replacing damaged or worn pieces on Basic or Primo Bikes being prepared for a Build.
..d) Motor Kits must be acquired by Group Leader and distributed to Members by Group Leader unless a Member is given the authority to do so by the Group Leader.
..e) High quality and specialty Parts may be put aside as accessories or upgrades.
..f) An accessory is anything that was not included when the bike was acquired, not part of the Motor Kit, and not required for the Bike to function. This includes such items as headlight/taillight, horn/bell, helmet, generator, speedometer, etc.
..g) Accessories are not used in Basic Builds.
.B) Basic Bikes can be selected by any Member who is ready to begin a Build.
.C) The use of Primo bikes is restricted and Members must receive approval prior to use.
.D) Motor Kits may be checked out by Members after selecting a Bike to Build on.
.E) If a Member decides against completing a Build, it must either be signed off to another Member to finish, or else the Motor Kit must be checked, repacked and returned in its original packaging.
*Leader - David Snyder, also known as TheDave.
*Member - Any person currently bound by this Agreement.
*Group - Anyone who is currently bound by the Member Agreement, and the Group Leader.
*Folks - Anyone who is not currently bound by the Member Agreement, and is thereby not in the Group. (ie. friends, family, customers, etc.)
*Bikes - Bikes are defined as any vehicle of ground-travel which uses two or three wheels and is not originally manufactured as a motorized vehicle, which have been or will be modified to be motor-assisted.
*Hours - Hours of operation, any time that Members are working at the Place, with or without Leader's supervision.
*Build - A motorized bicycle, or the project of building one.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I, ___________________________, understand everything in the Member Agreement (version 1.0) and agree to be bound by its terms. If there is something I do not understand, I will ask for clarification prior to signing.
Member Name: ____________________________________ Date: ____________
Member Signature: __________________________________________________
Witness Name: ___________________________________ Date: ____________
Witness Signature: _________________________________________________
Leader Signature: _______________________________ Date: ____________
Just to make this clear..
The one true goal of this business is to pay for my flight training. It is nothing but a means to an end. I see an opportunity, and I am being whole-heartedly opportunistic.
Unless A is also B, then you will have a path to travel from A to reach B. The destination may be important, or perhaps all-important, but there is still value in the path you take to reach your destination. Enjoy the path, or choose another.
What I want to make here, are motorized bikes. They are fun, they are green, they are cheap to operate and promote exercise and fresh air. How I want to make them, is with a group. This may be friends, friends of friends, people who like to tinker, people who like bikes, or people who like motored bikes. One goal of this place is to make it run as smoothly as possible. Assign people different positions within the group as soon as possible, or perhaps when it seems necessary, so that I am not a required element in the operations.. so that I can have a social life, or another job, or take classes.. without the whole thing crumbling. I want it to benefit the group members enough to inspire interest and loyalty, regardless of the non-competition agreements everyone will sign.
In the long run, I hope it to be a self-sufficient business that I can offer to "sell" to the group, if they enjoy it enough to desire control of the business. If they are interested but not financially available to do so, then perhaps they can 'make payments'. I retain ownership of the company, while they gain control of operations, and give me a flat rate or share of their profits.
Well, I had this grand idea unfolding, for that business to start up and become self-sufficient enough to possibly place it in the hands of its members while still generating income for me.
Just a note: For those of you who think I am finally trying to get realistic, HAH. I have not deviated in the slightest. My entire goal here is to fund my flight training. If this gets off the ground, it will merely be a way to get ME off the ground, and perhaps be maintained as a side business or sold as one. Its a means to an end, its not my new career.
New developments. Idea came crashing down. So it turns out that the motorized bikes I'm building and starting to market/sell actually do fall under California Vehicle Code (VC) Section 406(a) which DOES require an M2 license. Shit. The upside is that once I sell this first bike, I'll then be using smaller engines (and getting a speedometer for sure) and if I can put restrictors into the intake and exhaust valves such as would reduce the top speed to 20 mph, then they would qualify under California Vehicle Code (VC) Sections 406(b) which in fact does NOT require the M2 license. Sooo... not the end of the world, I guess. Not as likely now that I'll build my amazing MoPed empire to pay for flight training, but this might just be a hiccup.
Future developments... Invention time. (this is made private due to confidental details)
Dunno why I didnt write this down sooner.
All other plans aside, my immediate situation should take a bit of precedence. The MB Club is a possibility down the road, but here's where I'm at.
I have a motorized bike. Today I figured out why it wasnt running very well, and fixed it. Now it runs amazingly well. Now I have no hesitation in selling it. I also have another bike, soon to be four bikes. I'm hoping as many as three will be Potential builds, but at this time at least I know I have one Potential. I still have tools. Everything I used in the first build, except the dremel which broke but will soon be replaced. I have supplies, as well as tools. Most of my "hidden charges" have been revealed to me, and covered. Most of them wont need to be purchased again for a while since I use so little on each bike. The biggest expense aside from the bikes and kits are the upgraded metal for the nuts and bolts. Stronger is better. Quality out the door. Nothing left on the engine that "tends to break" except the engine itself, but at least that should last a while before it does.
Current order of business. Sell the bike. The next one will be cheaper for me to produce and I will actually start turning a profit.
Tools needed asap:
--Something that'll cut the bolts neatly and easily.
Things to look into:
--Logo? Something on Vinyl for gas-tank and transmission space.
--Distributors. If Neil will play ball, then I'm good. Otherwise I need a better source.
--Workspace. Clean, enclosed, well-lit, and with enough room for me and maybe others.
Here is my first Build. It is now ready to sell.
This is my next Potential.
One has already been documented private. If I can find someone interested in building the website, I'll pursue it.
Here's the second. Cheesy title suggestion, MoPeds R³ Us. The R³ (alt_0179 for cubed symbol) is meant to state the Recycle/Reduce/Reuse concept which is trendy enough to be a popular selling point. Reason for it is that the idea was formulated to be low cost, which would involve purchasing bike material (bikes and bike-lots) from auctions. Specifically, police auctions. Oftentimes good quality bikes which are unclaimed or otherwise seized, on their way to the dump if someone doesnt pay $20 bucks and take the dozen home. Some of those will be decent quality bikes. Many of them will have usable parts that can be stripped and saved as replacement parts. A good chunk will be sent to scrap yards for the various materials. As little as possible going to the landfill. Thats the 'reduce' part. The bikes and parts that are resold are the 're-used'. And then we recycle as much of the scrap metal and other materials as possible, rather than throwing them away.
Although the first thing that you'd find when you seek information about this place is that its a business... its just as much a social environment. Its a place meant for hobbyists and mechanical tinkerers. Its for the people who enjoy building for fun, and just need a place and a crowd to do it with. I (Company) will provide the bikes and the engine kits, and the Group will have a place to hang out, tinker with bikes (belonging to the Company, or themselves) and if they want to tinker-with or build MoPeds, they can choose from available bikes from the Company and use the provided engine-kits. Kits must be accounted for by those who use them, but MoPeds that are build may be purchased by Group members at very low prices, or sold, wherein the Group members responsible or involved in the Building take a percentage of the sale price.
Customizations, new designs, and general tinkering are strongly encouraged! It doesnt have to be "approved" per se, but safety and quality are important factors that may slightly limit the creativity of those involved, excepting the cases of personal hobby-craft.
One small side of R³ is the acquisition phase. Group members are encouraged to participate, by means of attending auctions, both online and offline, seeking bikes at low cost to replenish the supply for future builds.
A few things required to get this off the ground...
1) People who are interested in being Group members.
-- These people need to have mechanical aptitude and an interest in building/tinkering.
2) Location with space to hang out and tinker, as well as enough room for storage of bike materials and "potentials" (bikes waiting to be modified).
-- Note: I dont have or know of a place that qualifies. Possibly someone who's house has a garage they dont use could act as a decent starting place, until a suitable and affordable location is discovered.
3) The tools required to do the job. Basics are all thats really required, but the more specialized tools and skill that are available, the more options there are that become available in regard to custom work (important) and efficiency.
-- Just getting started, I have most if not all that is required. It would mean sharing tools, but most everything required is pretty basic. I've already built one, so I'd say that the "basics" are covered.
4) Capital for supplies to get started. Bikes come cheap at auctions, but kits still have cost. If we manage to get them in bulk it'll be a bit cheaper, but we're not there yet. On the other hand, I already have four bikes in processing and a Complete on the verge of sale, which would provide money for additional engine kits.
-- One bike is a beach cruiser in very good shape. Its intended for my next build. One of them is a BMX style that I will resell if condition permits. The other two are mountain bikes wuich need to be qualified, but may be Potentials.
Regarding location -- Near to me would be ideal. The Company is a kind of important factor, right? For the time being, I'd prefer if it was located near me, seeing as I'd be spending a good amount of time there. I am not abject to moving, however. This could thrive, whether its based in Long Beach where I am currently located, in OC, or in LA proper.
Possible side businesses related to R³..
"Auction Link" - (the website idea, just a possible name for it) can be tied into this if the same people who go for Company purposes also acquire the general data to fuel the Auction Link website. Only one bidder is needed for Company purposes, and can also bid in the position of Provider (see: Auction Link description).
Process Resale - Due to the nature of "lots" sold at auctions, there may be 20 bikes in a "lot" selling cheaply, and several of them appear to be good Potentials, then the Lot might be acquired even just to get those few usable bikes. The rest of those purchased at auction still have value. If the bike and everything on it is un-usable, then the materials can be sold to a recycling plant. If its a good bike that just doesnt qualify as a Potential, then it can be sold to the Populace as a cheap used bike via the Location, or an online source such as ebay or CraigsList. This revenue would likely be used by the Company to provide tools or materials for the Group.
Auction Link is an optional venture which would require a lot of extra effort to create the website, and a bit of maintenance.. once or twice a month when the auctions occur. Process Resale, on the other hand, is fairly integral and automatic within the workings of R³.
Major note - I am not a capitalist. A businessman I can be (if I must) but a capitalist I am not. Prices for parts and completed MoPed builds will stay LOW. The idea is to provide them to the Populace at extremely affordable rates... and to severely undercut the competition. If they lower their prices, then the Populace wins, and the industry itself wins. If it becomes more generally affordable, it may also become more popular, especially due to the fact that gas prices are starting to get a feel of reality. Also, these MoPeds are using engines that are EPA approved, so they are "green" for multiple reasons (like getting as much as 100 miles per gallon and much easier to find parking for).
Unusable scrap parts typically go to Material Recycling facilities, or to the dump. If there is a vagrant down the street who's has a junker in worse condition than the parts we're prepared to junk or destroy, they are welcome to take them for nothing, or next to nothing. Its usually better to re-use than to recycle, because it takes less energy to do so. The only issue here is to make sure the people doing Processing dont put usable or sellable parts or bikes into the "junk" category for the purpose of getting something for free. On the other hand, if they are part of the Group, they will get freebies and extreme discounts anyway.
So.. I have some bikes, I have some tools, and in a few days I will probably have sold my first Build for enough money to buy an engine kit or two. I already have customers lined up as well, at least for the Cruiser if not for Mountain bike versions, though probably both.
How to find people interested? I have a few ideas. 1) CraigsList 2) Local colleges - put up a flyer near the mechanics departments. 3) MotorBike forums - I know of two major motorbiking forums where I could post recruitment ads.
The only problem I foresee at the moment is location. It is an important issue, for now. It is likely that someone has a space available nearby, but at this point it is undisclosed.
A couple of people helping in the works may be manageable based on trust and comraderie, but something to consider without much delay is a non-disclosure/non-competition agreement for members of the Group. Of course, things can be negotiated with the Company to become an affiliate of some sort later on, but thats all grey area.
Rules that dont bend, get broken.
The non-disclosure wouldn't be very applicable, because part of the space and purpose is to help people and provide information that they need in maintaining their 'peds.
Aside from online advertising, a huge source of free advertising for MoPeds sales is test-phase. Group members will be encouraged to take home partially or recently completed Builds for purposes of testing the components for flaws and defects, as well as "breaking in" the engines and fine-tuning. By taking the Builds around town, they easily generate interest and draw customers.
-- In the two days that I've had my first Build completed, while riding I've gotten "interested looks" every few minutes, "interested questions" at most places I stop for any length of time, "potential customers" half a dozen times, and "serious offers" once or twice. I only decided today that it was ready to sell, and may have already found the future owner. I told them they could contact me in a couple days for the transaction.
So I just finished building my first Motorized Bicycle. Its fun. I'm gonna see if I can sell them for decent money, and if that works out then after I flip a few, I'll start selling them a bit cheaper, make them affordable for students and such. I'm already thinking I'll offer a student discount, something like $50 off with valid student ID. =)
It took me a solid week to find a bike, and of course now I have two. I spent the last couple days building it and learning the Ins and Outs of the motor-kit, but now I've got it pretty well figured out. I'd get it done faster if I wasnt already trying to improvise and create within the designs, but its still alright. We'll have to see if my first one sells. I'm gonna start off asking $500 for it. I figure the beach cruisers will go for more, but I dont really know. Gotta send off a mass (three whole people) email about the bike I just finished to those that are interested and wanting updates. Problem is, I think most/all of those people want a cruiser, so I'll have to sell this one first to afford the engine to put on the cruiser I have. I got one at about $60 under retail sticker price by means of online auction. I really wish I had a place to store them, and I could buy a half dozen bikes for something like $200 bucks. That'd really allow for some assembly-line work. Good stuff. gotta finish tuning this bike so I'm comfortable selling it though. The engine still has some issues I want to work out, but I'm almost done with it. Paying rent will be interesting. It'll get done, but I'm wondering how hard I need to look for actual work, while this is in progress.
That'll all depend on demand, I suppose. Wont find out until I put it up for sale. *sigh* I should prolly do that tomorrow. I dont have to actually hand it off until I'm ready, but it wont look any different, I'm sure. Just tuned up.
I really need to get over my aversion to failure. You'll never been told "no" unless you ask a question. So instead of being told that they're not hiring, or the one accident on my license will get in the way of me getting the job, I simply havent applied. =) That makes perfect sense, right?
Just kidding. Thats total nonsense and I plan to kick myself out of the house tomorrow so that I can check it out. Driving a tow-truck may not be a glamorous job, but from what I understand, it can pay quite well. Another possible method of funding my flight school, and meeting interesting people, to boot!
I'm also going to make a new profile on Roommates.com I think. Not that I'm having problems with my roommate or anything, its just that I barely even recognize having one. Sure, I could just "pretend" that I live alone, except for the lack of privacy. If I cant walk around nude, then I obviously have a roommate. If I'm going to HAVE a roommate, I want it to be one that I'm on good terms with, instead of "invisibility."